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Interview with my awesome non-existent neighbour

Because I feel random today and also because my neighbour is really weird, here’s an interview I did with my awesome non-existent neighbour.


Ju Ann: Hey Awesome Neighbour, so what are you like as a neighbour?

Awesome Neighbour: Well I like to think I am really friendly, helpful and considerate! And I’m not nosy!

JA: Wow, you sound perfect! What was it like for you the first time you came and knocked on my door to welcome me into the neighbourhood? Was it awkward?

AN: No, not at all! I do this all the time to newbies on the block. Sometimes I bring some of my home made food over to share. How was that apple pie I gave you the last time?

JA: It was really good! Thank you again for that! So tell me, is there a list of things that you avoid doing because you’re a considerate neighbour?

AN: Oh I love playing mahjong a lot but because my house is kinda small, I have been supressing the urge to play mahjong along the corridor that we share and make lots of noise. If I wanted to play mahjong, I would gather my friends and play indoors no matter how much I want to play in the corridor where’s its way more spacious.

JA: That’s really nice of you.

AN: Yeh, and I also have urges to have a smoking BBQ and steamboat session with my rowdy, smoking friends too. But I don’t cos they always enjoy smoking right outside your door.

JA: Wow I really appreciate that. Are there any other things you want to do but don’t?

AN: Yes of course. For example, sometimes I get this urge for some exotic smelling food that smells like I dug up something dead and make a stew all weekend. Or those times when I walk past your door and really want to look in and see what’s going on in your house. In fact, I really want to stand right in front of your door and really look around, but who does that yeh?

Oh and that one time when this guy whom I’ve never seen before came over to your place, I really wanted to know who he is but I’m not a nosy neighbour. No sire.

JA: So if I needed something urgently, would I be able to borrow it from you?

AN: Please, do come over! Don’t be shy. I have everything you need! Oil, salt, sugar, phone and even, internet! I am also a handyman around my house. My family? They call me the all-in-one handyman! But those are just hobbies. :)

JA: Omg really you can fix almost anything?

AN: Well, I love trying to. :) Let me know if you have anything malfunctioning! I can take a look at it for you if you don’t mind.

JA: Well, I’ll definitely take you up on that some time like the time my aircon/fan/tv/toilet/fridge/washingmachine broke down. :)

Only problem is? I’m still waiting for you to appear, my perfect neighbour.


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